Soreness.

Ugh, I am sore head to toe. After a long night of drinking and dancing on Friday, I got up bright and early for NEWLARP, to run around and get beat on by foam covered weapons for 7 hours.

No idea what is going on with the roomate situation now, I knew one person was fairly unreliable, but now another is talking about moving up north. Sheesh, I'd like to know what's going on before I commit to moving :)

I hope I get a schedule change soon. Granted, I like not getting up til 10, but I certainly don't like getting done with work so late at night. Rumor is new schedule are to be out soon, I'll cross my fingers.

Other than that, I'm just chilling on a big ole piece of poo they call a computer in the breakroom at work. G'day to ya.

P.S.I don't know why I didn't remove the link before, I'm a dumbass and click on it and read the site. Self punishment? Perhaps, but no more. Nothing against you, but reading your site only tears me up inside.
P.P.S.I may not have been the greatest at showing love and respect at the end, but I certainly respested you more than anything else in the world for a long time.

Meh.

Life would be so much simpler if I used the thought of "meh", and applied it to everything that pisses me off in life. Perhaps I wouldn't write such stupid drunken rants on here, and maybe just talk about intresting things.

Went to Olive Garden with some of the peeps today, and I think I ate too much. It's nice to get full on good food, but not when you feel uncomfortable afterwards. Granted it was still a good time, even if we did have a 'valley girl' as a waitress, lol. Afterwards we all trekked over to Media Play for mass spending, which I resisted many a sinful items there. Got to watch Equalibrium with dvd quality this time, very cool movie.

Beyond that, I pretty much just wanted to finish up my post from last night. For some reason I agreeded to switch shifts with someone tomorrow, which involves me getting up 4 hours earlier than normal :( Atleast I will get out of work at a decent time, and go look at some cars. G'night, sleep tight.

Oh, one more thing. I know i've said it before, but enough of me bitching about someone on here. In one respect it is my blog, and I should feel free to do whatever, not like I am forcing anyone to read this. But nonetheless, I don't need to be a complete asshole.

Everything, yet nothing at all.

There are many things I have been labeled, in the past and in the present. I would have to say at one time or another I do indeed fit each title given to me, including my latest. I am a Jerk, Hypocrite, Rude, Irresponsible, Unthoughtful, Uncaring, Selfish, Lazy, Thougtless, Liar, Cheater, Destroyer, Arrogant, Loud, Abnoxious, Embarrasing and the list goes on. So many titles to be labeled with negatively, it is quite humbling. Alot of good advice was said to me this weekend, and some good words of reason. "Be thankful you were only lied to your face for a year or so, and not 5-10 years like some people are." Kind of puts things in perspective I guess.

In other news... not much right now. Pretty much a waiting game while I look into apartments for the crew. Other than that just sleeping, working and drinking( no particular order). Warm weather with great nights. I'm gonna have to continue this tomorrow after I get some sleep, g'night.

P.S. Who the fuck throws away someone's house key, for a place the other person still lives in?!?!

Drunk.

My cats must love when I come home drunk, because instead of just coming home and sleeping, I knock them around and play with them for hours on end. The $8 all you can drink beer and rail drinks will be the death of me, I swear.

I hate myself for saying so, but reading someone's blog is just too painful. It seems like everything they put on there shits on me in some way. As if I'm suddenly not a good friend to them, and I am pushed completely out of their life. Whatever, you wanna be that way to me, fuck it then. I'm sure in the morning when I am sober and read this I'll regret saying it, but I'm tired of being shit on for the last year+ of my life and still acting like Mr. Nice guy. I have excluded friendships for you, for the sake of your happiness, I try to be nice to you, do nice things for you, say nice things to you, and I get absolutely shit back in return. I don't even get friendship back, FUCK THAT I'm sure you could care less with your new attitude and outlook on life, and I hope your happy with the falsehoods you have filled yourself with. You are not being true to yourself, no matter what you convince yourself of. I know you better than any person on this world, and your reaching for something that isn't there. I guess everyone can only learn for themselves.

Sigmund is going to bed now, goodnight.

Dinner, Movie and....Shopping?

Besides a few other random events, that was my day in a nutshell. It wasn't my normal Tuesday, which usually consists of doing laundry, playing card games and attempting to complete random household tasks.

The Dinner was going to China King with Pat. I had a bad Mongolian BBQ in Fond du Lac last week, and I had to see for myself if I was mearly fooled into thinking the one at China King was good. I was happily reassured that the Mongolian BBQ at China King is indeed delicious! If you haven't tried it out, I suggest trying it. It's decently priced, and very tastey.

The Movie was Dumb and Dumberer, which I attended with Pat and my old roomate Josh D. It was ok if your a big fan of the first movie, but I'm not gonna lie here, I thought it was pretty weak. There were lines that just seemed out of place, and could have been worded alot better. The acting was mediocre, with a few so-so named people playing supporting parts. Good or bad, I was going to see it regardless, hopefully you can find some enjoyment in it, if it's your kind of movie.

The Shopping took place in various stores in Appleton. A couple friends of mine informed me of a store that was switching from mens and womens clothing, to just womens. So to get rid of the mens clothing everything was half off or more, which was cool considering it was nice clothing of good quality. Not the Walmart special you can see me sporting 4 out of 7 days a week :) It was also nice, as it was the first time I had been to the Appleton mall in several months, if not a year or more now that I think about it. Generally speaking, I have no use for the mall, but it was nice to just kinda look at all the either overpriced or low quality items that people waste money on every day.

My friend Matt from Las Vegas is gonna be up this weekend. I'm sure he's gonna try to convince me to move there, but I'm ok with where I'm at now. I would like to think I have a good amount of friends with different tastes and styles, and I don't completely hate my job. I guess with those two things considered I can be comfortable here.

Anything else? Hmm.. oh yeah. It's cool when you put forth some effort of your own free will and do something nice to hopefully brighten someone's day, to get in return that your not worth a fucking phone call. Your most welcome, really.

Time, so slow and yet so fast.

Been awhile since the last post, anything new? Work sucks. Oh speaking of shitty jobs, Charter is hiring again for T.V. and Internet support. So if any of you slackers are looking for a job in today's tough market, I suggest you stop there with a resume. It really isn't that bad of a job, can be a little stressful and annoying sometimes, but considering the lack of requirments, it does pay somewhat decent, it's full-time and the job can be a cake walk sometimes.

So I stop over at Beefy and Moondog's apartment today, and notice a BMW sitting in the parking lot. Seems Mr. Moondog decided to get himself a fancy new ride :) Congratz on the purchase!

Zebby drank way too much on Thursday night. And I hear it only got worse after I left. How was work Friday morning Barren? :)

Went to Famous Dave's with Beefy, Moondog and Barren today. I love that place, great food, decent service, good prices and nice atmosphere. If you haven't been there, I suggest giving the place a visit.

Well, I haven't been home in a day and a half, and my cats are demanding attention. Good night to ya.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

The Ugly.
Me going to work Sunday morning, lol :)

The Bad.
Two parts.
#1. Banging my knee really hard on the dance floor at Visions Saturday night. They have a small elevated area on the dance floor, and let's just say I missed my step. I guess my reflexs and balance aren't gonna be the greatest after 15 or so shots/mixed drinks.
#2. Mixed drinks with orange juice/pineapple juice. In small quanities they seem to be fine, but something about them doesn't sit well if I've been drinking heavily. Needless to say, another toilet got cleaned by moi.

The Good.
Saturday, what a day. Excellent game day at NEWLARP, even if I did get a little more than pissed at watching someone blatanly cheat to save their character. Other than that, lots of adventuring, fighting and a small bit of RP'ing, lol. After a long day of adventuring(didn't leave the game til 7:30ish) I headed home to cleanup/change to go out drinking in Fond du Lac. Pretty good time was had, lots o booze consumption and making it back to Chris's in time to puke and pass out.

P.C.P. and Perkins was a pretty good time last night. I think we nearly had to restrain Beefy for his own safety :) Sounds like I might be moving out of the Porno Pad in the near future. Talk of getting a 4-5 bedroom with Peanut Boy, Zeb, Beefy and Myself, sounds like a good time. Other than that, I need to get my ass moving today, Tuesday = cleaning and errands day. Tata.

I'm a bad man.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

That's all I wanted to post, enjoy.

Drunken blissfulness

The only thing better than coming home shit faced and playing with a kitty cat, is having two kitty cats to play with. Sober, drunk or whatever, they love me unconditionally, no matter what.

A friend introduced me to unlimited rail mixers for only $8 at Visions in Fond du Lac tonight. Dusto + unlimited mixed drinks = good fucking time. I managed to make it home, just intime to update my blog while I'm shitfaced. Woohoo.

NEWLARP this weekend will probably be cut short for myself as I have some partying/drinking to get done Saturday night with some friends at work. Which means I'll probably end up PC'ing and drain the ole ratio pool.

Yes I like lots of little paragraphs! I'm fucking pumped for next FVbN, and it's not for atleast another month :( I have decided that I am not a conformist, nor am I a rebel. I am me, plain and simply complex me. I post personal and nonpersonal fact/fictions of my life on here because it's my fucking blog. I post bullshit and nonbullshit whenever I can, because I like to. Look, it's another personal post, time to move on.

THE CROW is still the fucking bomb! Defintly one of my favorite movies of all time. Ramble...ramble...ramble.

If your handle is Barren, please don't read any further! :) I post lyrics from songs that seem to fit the moment for me. Are they others words doing the talking for me? You bet your ass they are, and that's why it's so much better.

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah,

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
But I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

Well I never pray
But tonight I'm on my knees yeah
I need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah
I let the melody shine, let it cleanse my mind, I feel free now
But the airways are clean and there's nobody singing to me now

No change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can't change
I can't change

'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Try to make ends meet
Try to find some money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah

You know I can change, I can change
I can change, I can change
But I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I'm a million different people
from one day to the next
I can't change my mold
No, no, no, no, no

I can't change my mold
no, no, no, no, no,
I can't change
Can't change my body,
no, no, no

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
Been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Ever been down
Have you ever been down?
Have you've ever been down?

Everything so blurry, yet so clear. It is so hard to hide your feelings, when all you want to be is free. No shackles, no fear. Yet it doesn't help anything if it only makes matters worse. Perhaps time is the cure, the answer to all the questions. Well, time you can fucking get to work right fucking now please.

A Different Perspective.

Finally sat down and watched The Fast and the Furious with Beefy last night. Hmm.. ugh. Possibly the worst acting I have seen in quite awhile, and of course accompanied by an extremely blah plot. I did like some of the special effects, but beyond that, I really don't see what the hype with that movie was all about.

Had to go and hook up the old Playstation tonight as I got copies of Final Fantasy Tactics, and the combo disk with FF1 & FF2. Kinda blew when I realized she took the memory card for it, and PS2 mem card doesn't work for the old system. Nothing more annoying than little reminders like that of exactly how much shit you had that wasn't yours.

Had a really long talk with someone last night who's basically gone through the same thing as me recently. Very long relationship, where the other person decided they wanted other things. Her's ended last year, so it was nice to talk to someone who's months ahead of where I will be, and hear how they handled things. Christ, I should just go join some counseling group or something, lol.

Ugh, why didn't I listen to Abraxis when he said drinking Newcastle on an empty stomach is a bad idea.

You chose with age
To speak with a prima ballerina's rage
And speak of all the kingdoms
That would swoop down
Stick around
Then proceed to ignore you

No flash pot pan, guitar man
Or resurrected Apollo myth
To seal your fate
Feed your plate
And just plain worship and adore you
But the pills you swill
Bring you no thrill
So travel lightly on the wing this time
Leaving all your baggage behind

As you wander through your vagabond stage
And find yourself shovelling shit
With a rusty jack-handle queen of a broken spade
You must not be afraid
You must turn the page

You wore your goddess down
In jaundiced disarray
Your halo fell into decay
Swiped by those you loved
But could not hold in sway behind you
And then the dry spell leaves
At a low shutter speed
Long enough for you to see
That you create your own reality
And that the wait alone will not enshrine you
And the war that you swore
Would pour through your door
To come to your rescue this time
Is all in your mind

Now as you wander through your vagabond stage
And you find yourself shovelling shit
With a rusty jack-handle queen of a broken spade
And you find yourself kicking dirt around
With your Paris green pumps
Of pentacles and precious jade
You must not be afraid
You must turn the page

You dreamt a world of things
Like you were a duchess born
Or Coretta Scott King
And the queen does not invite you over for a tea at her gaff
In Scotland
Or in Buckingham's back-yard

Now I'm sure 'Van the Man' of whom I'm a fan
Can surely understand
As he said "It is not why, it just is."
So therefore you need not remain scarred
And in time you'll find
That your salvation is mine
As you travel lightly on the wing this time
Leaving all your baggage behind

Now as you wander through your vagabond stage
And you find yourself shovelling shit
With a rusty jack-handle queen of a broken spade
And you find yourself kicking dirt around
With your Paris green pumps
Of pentacles and precious jade
Pulling the roots from your hair
Dyed from a bottle
You saw in a windows with
An 'Everything must go!!' sale sign
Prominently displayed

And yet waiting for your dancing
On the edge of a precipice heart to sing
Those serenading soul songs
That fulfillingness and consciousness brings
Releasing you from your captive cage
Replacing love for all your rage
Turning your hope on a rope's magic pope kaleidoscope
Into a rabbit's foot parade
You must not be afraid
(Eyes forward babe)
You must turn the page

One thing is sure
And that is change
When the water's rising
You can't remain
Move to dry land
Move to dry land
You've got to move on

So much to do, so little time.

My day off always seems to start out slow, but at the end of the night I realize it flew by like nothing. Stopped down at the card shop for awhile today, won a little tournament they had. The Foxx radio station was down there for a brief amount of time also, but I didn't really pay attention to them. Ever since I didn't hook the radio part of my cd player up in my car, i've pretty much lost intrest in radio.

The Italian Job. Wow. WOW! I was more than plesantly suprised with this movie. I went to it last night at the Regal with Barren and Moondog, and I admit I didn't have the highest expectations for it. What I did receive was a pretty kick ass movie viewing experience, with great acting, dialog, action scenes and overall quality. I thought each of the actors/actresses did an awesome job, and were pretty much perfect for the roles.

Had a tornado warning at work, which is intresting as they get all the employee's into a couple large meeting rooms in the lower level. Thank goodness it was later during the day when there is less people at work.

The exercise and dieting thing is going well. I splurge a few times a week and whatever, so I'm not hardcore, but the part I am doing seems to be working fine. The weight is slowly but steadily dropping, even if it is only a few pounds a week. I've looked at alot of alternative ways of losing weight, fad diets, stomach surgery, uber exercising and even smoking. But none of them seem appealing, or even possible for me to handle. I dunno, I'll stick to this as long as it works I guess.

I got the work thing in the morning, g'night.

Hold on to love. That is what I do,
Now that I've found you.
And from above, everything's stinking,
Their not around you.

And in the night, I could be helpless
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything's complex
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

But, I miss you when you're gone.
That is what I do, Bay, Bay, Bay
And it's going to carry on,
That is what I knew, Bay, Bay, Bay

Hold on to my hand,
I feel me sinking, sinking without you.
And to my mind, everything's stinking
Stinking without you.

And in the night, I could be helpless,
I could be lonely, sleeping without you.
And in the day, everything's complex,
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you.

And I miss you when you're gone.
That is what I do, Bay, Bay, Bay
And it's going to carry on,
That is what I do, Bay, Bay, Bay